William's First Year

A rubbish title, but hard to think of anything vaguely positive when faced with possible redundancy! One job, 4 candidates…Mr Lewis’ search for an apprentice continues. Who knows what the future holds, it’s out of my hands so just a question of sitting tight and seeing what happens. In the meantime I’m going to try not to worry about it, and concentrate on enjoying the Summer with Will.

To cheer myself up I went for a radical haircut with the fragrant Vernon at Cutting Line today. As soon as I stopped breastfeeding all my lovely lustrous locks fell out and I went back to stringy old Lou. However I am pleased to say that, for the first time in my life, I’ve actually managed to get a decent haircut in Newbury and feel much, much better for it.

Unfortunately I came home to find Eddie cuddling a very unhappy, sniffly Will who was running a temperature and generally feeling grotty. We gave him some Calpol and the poor little mite fell asleep on me for the next 2 hours (leaving me forced to watch the Cup Final, which fortunately turned out to be quite entertaining for a change). He was much brighter when he woke up thank God, and is now having supper with Daddy before bed. It remains to be seen whether he’ll go to sleep or not after such a long nap, but I don’t care, I’m too relieved he’s OK.

Tomorrow Eddie’s off to the States until next Saturday so it’s going to be a lonely time for Will and I. I’m just praying I don’t go down with his cold like I did last time when it took me nearly 3 weeks to shake it off 😦

It’s a big day tomorrow – my first visit to work without Will for a big reorg meeting that Simon’s called, and the first time I’ve left Will with his Grandpa for an entire morning. The most Father’s done so far has been to babysit while we went to Kerrie’s wedding, but obviously in the daytime it’s a bit different.

Note to self; he’s raised 3 children and is very good with Will so there is NO. NEED. TO. WORRY.

At this stage I’m actually more stressed about getting everything ready, dropping Will off at the shop and making it back to work in time for the start of the meeting at 08.30. At least my suit still fits. Just.

William has just started to laugh – it doesn’t come easily, you have to work for it, but if you’re funny enough the laughter comes and he hitches in his breath and finds you absolutely hilarious. Today it was Eskimo kisses (rubbing noses to you and me) which cracked him up. It’s the most wonderful sound, Eddie and I can’t stop laughing when he goes off on one. Wish I could get a picture, but everytime I lift the camera he stops and wonders why on Earth I’m pointing the damn thing at him yet again.

Great excitement over the past few days as William has finally discovered his thumb (clearly his Mother’s son), and has that permanently jammed in his mouth now, as opposed to the whole hand. It does make life a little tricky though, yesterday he even swam a width whilst sucking his thumb – no mean feat!

Rasberries are the other new, fun thing to try, although they’re not ‘proper’ ones. Will just shuts his lips very tight and blows through them, whilst going puce in the face….

In the meantime the formula has worked its magic and he’s now a whopping 12lbs, his skin is peachy and I seem to have escaped relatively unscathed in the Spaniel’s Ears department. All this time and worry….. and the only thing he was allergic to – was me.

Back from the Doctor’s who says Will is absolutely fine and hopefully the transition to formula should beef him up, so it’s back to the surgery yet again next week to see where we’re up to.

In the meantime I’ve made a swift recovery from not breastfeeding anymore and woke up this morning feeling ‘normal’ for the first time since William was born so obviously my supply is reducing.

Now we wait and see what happens once the milk runs out completely….will Louisa end up with Spaniel’s Ears? Tune in next week to find out.

Will is a waterbaby! We went for our first swim today and had a lovely time. Will looked like something out of Victorian England in a stripy suit to help me grip him after I’d slathered his skin in vaseline. But that was NOTHING compared to the horror that was me in one of last year’s M&S bikinins (it was all I had). My poor figure – come back, all is forgiven.

Will wasn’t sure about the pool at first, but soon got the hang of it and even went under the water for a few seconds. I really enjoyed doing it too and am sure that we’re going to have a great time over the next couple of months. I can really see how it can help to build little babies’ confidence in the water.

Most amusing was watching us all afterwards. Whereas pre-baby we would have spent ages faffing with showers, a variety of body unguents and hairdryers, the scene in the changing rooms was of silent, fierce concentration as we knelt on the tiles frantically de-robing/nappying/showering/drying/moisturising/wiping/re-robing/nappying etc our squawking offspring. Finally, we surfaced, decided we couldn’t be arsed to shower and went home looking like we’d been run over by a variety of buses backwards, lugging the babies in their car seats across the car park while they cooed happily away in their warm, dry cocoons and looked forward to lunch and a nap.

Today I have also crossed a serious milestone, because today was my last breastfeeding day. A decision not taken lightly, but after another week where Will has only put on 1 oz, he’s clearly not getting what he needs from me. I’m not going to bother with doing a half/half approach, it’s too much hassle and hasn’t worked over the last week. So from now on it’s formula all the way and let’s hope we finally see some improvement. In the meantime we’re also going to see the doctor on Friday, just to check that it is the food, and nothing else that’s causing Will’s weight to stay so static. It’s a worry, but I’m hoping that we’ve made the right decision and that on Friday Will will have finally put on a decent amount and we can relax at last.

First trip in the buggy, Will’s much happier sitting up and looking around (well, to the left anyway, we’re still working on the full 180 degree view)

First look at a book!

AND. FINALLY. First playtime outside in the sunshine! We thought it would never come 🙂

It’s been a long week what with Eddie being away and Will and I struggling with colds. So it was lovely to go round to see Lucy, Richard and Honore for a cup of tea this evening. It’s a balmy Spring day and we sat in the garden with our Earl Gray in posh cups and saucers, Cate held Will for a while and I felt revitalised.

Little Will, he’s such a trooper, he smiles through everything and loves life no matter what obstacles get in his way. His ezcema is worse than ever on his face, he looks like a little tomato. But his huge blue eyes shine through and his smile is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

I look at William and wonder ‘Where did this little baby come from?’ He is amazing to me – a real little person in his own right.

Will and I have got the same cold, but I think his is actually a bit worse than mine. Chesty coughs and runny noses all round. Poor Will slept for over an hour and a half this morning and is back in bed now. He threw up all of his breakfast, which was pretty alarming in itself, but fortunately I managed to get him to hold onto elevenses and topped him up with 3 ozs of formula for good measure which has also stayed down.

With both of us under the weather, playtime was less than energetic, and I actually gave up altogether after half an hour and the two of us sat riveted to Phil and Fern instead (all about silent childbirth…..these women must be insane).

Very upset to be missing the NCT Ladiees later this afternoon, but for the time being think it’s best we stay out of the way. I’ve also got an appointment with the nurse later on, but am now having a crisis of confidence and worrying that I’m being overly paranoid. He doesn’t have a temperature and now that he’s kept some food down I’m feeling a little less neurotic. Might cancel and just see how things go over the weekend.

In the meantime his ezcema on his face is dreadful – at first I worried that it was a reaction to the formula, but the rest of him is OK, so I think he’s just going through a flare up. I spend my life trying to distract him from scratching – he just scratches and scratches until he bleeds. It’s heartbreaking.

It doesn’t help that Eddie is on a stag weekend in Krakow….last heard from yesterday afternoon; gibbering and heading for the nearest kebab shop….

The day has finally arrived – Will has had his first taste of formula. I’ve put it off for 14 weeks, but after another week where he’s only gained 1 oz, today the Health Visitor agreed that it was time to try boosting his weight by introducing formula.

Traitorous child, he woofed down 6 ozs and then fell asleep while I wept for my lost role as the sole supplier of nourishment. After all the trials and tribulations trying to get breast feeding together, and then finally figuring it out together, I couldn’t help feeling emotional as I gave William his first bottle ever from me. Time is flying by and my little baby is growing up much too quickly.